January 24thth, 2025- Steamed Eggs and Aurora Borealis
Listening to Kei Mizutani- Like A Virgin Cover

Do you remember what it is like to flip channels on the television and not pick a tv show to watch? Well, that's how my brain behaving at the moment. I hope that in writing this entry, I get control of my mind so that I can get my important tasks done. I think I have been over stimulated that I feel a bit behind at times. I can't be too hard on myself because: 

1. In my county, two new fires (Santa Ana wind once again) just dropped and it was hella lit . Sorry, dark humor and yes, fires are scary. I've been cooped up indoors because of potential ashes or toxic debris travel through wind. I haven't open any our windows yet; we kept our filters on. I ended up doing my workout indoors and I've been pretty consistent until the past couple of days. But after this blog, I will get my butt back to the floor mat.

2. I thought Tiktok would get banned? At this point, I really don't know anymore. I ended up archiving some food recipe videos and some of my art videos. I made sure to follow any moots on different platforms.

3. Since I thought Tiktok would be gone (and maybe it will get banned in the future), I downloaded Xiao Hong Shu (The Little Red Book/ Red Note) and partook in a historical American and Chinese cultural exchange. To be quite honest, not a whole lot about China surprises my American mind, especially as someone who's already familiar with world history & dialectical materialism. It is finally nice to see pen pals clearing decades of misunderstanding; exchanging language lessons; finding ways to properly communicate; sending cat memes. People of all age group having genuine interactions with one another.  It felt like a 2000s AOL chatroom. I don't know how long this exchange will last, but it certainly opened doors to the future.

This person sums up my feelings and experience regarding to the Sinophobia in Spring 2020.  The Little Red Book pretty much dismantled that misplaced rage that most Westerners harbored.

I spent the whole week watching steamed eggs (ji dan geng) recipes. Here were my attempts:


4. David Lynch passed away. I did a bit of mental reflection of all of his films that left a big impression on me.

5. Just finished my Nutcracker Squirrel babe drawing & Boa Hancock fan art for the Year of the Snake. I got three Drawcember prompts done, that's quite something. So, yay for me.

January 10th, 2025- Smokey air; Workout routine on a halt
No music today

About a few days ago, we had a wind storm in our area. It was quite windy that it actually took some massive trucks out as if you were to tip a cow to its sides. A friend of ours mentioned that we haven't been getting any rain at all, we were expecting our wet season. With the chaparrals region being under a drought combined with the intensity of the wind, pretty much equals fire.  Before the wind storm happened, Bern and I feared this would happen and it did. We saw what happened in Nor Cal; similar situation with the wind in Los Angeles County.  Hearing about fires is not unique to us, we have friends who lost their homes to them. However, we're still pretty shocked because it's winter.

Everyone in our local circle are from middle class, working class families, different ethnicities and racial backgrounds. Most of them worked in service jobs or trade-related work. Back then around midcentury to the 80s, sizable suburban homes were affordable for working class families to purchase. People have built communities in towns where they felt belong and accepted. There are BIPOC communities. They have been living there for generations. Until after the 90s, the value of their homes increased at a high value. This is a common thing that tends to happen at any populated region with high economy.

My family called/ texted us to check on us. While the air quality was bad (the AQI is better today, but the air still smells bad), fortunately, the evacuation zones didn't catch to our district. Bern and I are currently safe. On the watch duty app, it looks as if one of the fires are going in an opposite direction? Not great for those who are on the East of the fire! I basically just have to make sure to keep our air filter on. I lost some sleep and spent one whole night sealing up our windows & door. Some of the smokey air did seeped in a bit. I added a bit of humidity to clean our indoor air. As for today, I managed to get some sleep, especially after the 'accidental' heart-racing phone alerts.

My heart breaks for those from Pasadena & Altadena. This person described a bit of Altadena's history quite beautifully. Some of my favorite go-to spots were located there! If you follow my blog long enough, you probably read that I watch a lot of Huell Howser tv and somewhat of a local history nerd when it comes stories from the 20th century. As someone who loves everything involving rabbits, I was disheartened when I heard the Bunny Museum caught fire.

I had to put my workout routines to a halt, but I'm going to get back to doing my indoor workout today! Otherwise, I'll feel crummy and end up with a bad indigestion. Apparently someone went jogging in a neighborhood through a smokey air and my reactions were ''. Honestly, it's okay to skip fitness routine for a day or two. Breathing in the toxic air with no mask is quite awful. Perhaps work out indoors instead?!

After that, I'll do a bit of house organization. I know I have some practical clothes that no longer fits, I'm looking forward to donate them. There's a reason why I don't ever drop them off at most thrift places. I rather just give them away to those who wants them. I'm going to have to do some resources-hunting. So far, I found this mutual aid list, thanks to my neighbors & my comrades.

January 5th, 2025- Mall Exploration
Listening to エンジョイクラブソング- Enjoy Music Club (EMC)

Our December was cut short for these few reasons: Bern's busy work schedule, our refrigerator passed away (it was already elderly when we first got it..rip) , and I ended up with a pretty bad indigestion. Despite the mood-hiccups, we were able to enjoy the holidays by looking at the decorations from our mall-explorations*. We're pretty awed to find that more restaurants added outdoor seating. We noticed a restaurant that we liked relocated to a different street nearby! It looks like they upgraded to a sizable outdoor seating. Some places don't even require guests to walk in a building to get their seats waited. There seems to be a mixture of corporate-owned chains and family-owned businesses. It's nice to have options for brunch & dining.

I was pretty adamant about getting a lengthy walk steps, so Bern and I spent quite some time just going trough walkways, alleyways, and parking garages in the city; we basically vibed under interesting architectural spaces.

*mall-exploration- is that even a word? Well, it makes sense to me at the moment.

Alright, here's our 'mall exploration' photodump:

January 3rd, 2025- New Year's Resolutions
Listening to Holiday CITY POP Mix by DJ HASEBE

Happy New Yearssssssss everybody! On a local level, I hope 2024 was kind to you all. My whole year was a combination of things: sadness & happiness. Overall, bittersweet but I am grateful. I won't elaborate on peculiar details because even for an online journal, it's a bit overwhelming to share-- I just want to focus on being present. I want to be able to dream the future.

I ended up making my first vision board, I love this idea because it's a great way to keep me focused without getting side tracked.  I am someone who gets easily sidetracked; I believe a vision board will be beneficial for me. My top resolutions are: staying super fit, improve my artwork, do more experimental photography, & collage/archive... within my income/ lifestyle, I believe this will be attainable for me.

Here are my 2025 goals break-downs:










According to my sister (take this with a grain of salt lol), she said the Snake Year will be a good year for the Rabbit babies. I don't really believe in this stuff, but I will take it and it feels quite nice hearing it.

December 26th, 2024- Winter Holiday Baby stuff
Listening to Merry Christmas City Pop Playlist

Merry second day of Cribmas! Here's this Jingle Bell song in a Thai-folk style-- enjoy!

My birthday just passed! I never thought about whether or not I like having my birthday on a holiday until I had friends bring up this question in my adult life:

"Doesn't it suck to have a birthday during the Winter holidays?"

My answer to that has always been, "uhmm I don't know" or "I never really thought about it". Just recently, when I thought about it, I think I quite like being a winter baby! I don't mind Christmas or Yule decorations. Most of the time, I learned that I prefer the lack of attention between my social circles in real life. While most of my peers would be busy running holiday errands, I can go incognito with my special day. I grew up with having big gatherings with my extended family, so having a peaceful celebration is quite a change. Ever since I've been with Bern, my birthday traditions elevated to late night dinners and downtown strolls. For the past years, my birthday celebrations has been intimate-- that's how I like them.

This year, our refrigerator is now completely gone. I experienced a bit of headache (lack of sleep) and indigestion because I'm so used to having stored foods that requires refrigeration. It kind of made me felt physically off; ended up with a weird acid reflux. I think I am feeling a bit better now! Hopefully I'll feel Toguro-One-Hundred-Percent before New Years! Due to being super absorbed in my artwork, I tend to forget to incorporate my intensive exercises to my routine. This time, I will have to cut back my drawing schedule just a bit and start graduating myself towards stricter workouts. Between my physician and I, the way my body functions, we're hoping it's a way for me to smooth out my digestion. This should be another easy New Years' resolution for me, because it's super vital for me to have to keep up anyway.
Once I am well and our refrigerator gets replaced, I'll probably bake a cake for myself-- for a celebration do-over. Technically, the holidays are still around until the first week of January. I will be keeping our decorations up, just so I can space out to the warm rainbow lights...that's how I meditate.

Overall despite the acid reflux throat burns, I enjoyed my birthday. Bern and I looked at Christmas lights in decorated neighborhoods-- it was a perfect way to get our walking steps as our exercise. He took me to one of the best Thai restaurants in LA with outdoor seating; I ordered something simple (Pad Se Eew) because the dish has some green veggies in them. As usual, the foods came out perfect for both us.

Anyway, I hope you all are doing well and are receiving lots of love during the holidays!

Photodump:

A neighborhood with collaborative decorations (80 percent of the neighbors decorate).

 

December 16th, 2024- Cookies hangout & refrigerator malfunction
Listening to Christmas At Jingles

As I said last month, I knew this December would be kind of a busy month for my partner and I! My folks stopped by; a couple of friends wanted to hang out with us over the weekend. I haven't seen my parents in person since last Spring, and we hung out with our friends (let's call them Koala & Dragon) separately last month. Basically, I made sure to keep our place tidy! We got Koala to watch archived Christmas specials for Saturday evening; just lowkey conversations of Christmas lights, their office parties, and vintage holiday specials. Dragon came over the next day to play some video games with Bern; lots of fun-competitive plays and energetic bursts. They played Super Monkey Ball. Out of all of Bern's local colleagues, they've been great about keeping in touch with him.

I baked brown butter cookies! The first batch came out a bit well done (still delicious), but I cut down the next cooking time down to a minute less and it came out perfect, with a bit of the chewiness in the middle. I also baked persimmon bread, with persimmons that I received from my parents' place. This year, they turned out humongous. My family is pretty green-thumbed.


Oh, and so we finally picked up a Christmas tree; a fresh Noble Fir. It's been a week and it didn't dry out yet! For once, we used our own tree stand because we want room for the train toys to pass around the tree. You know how some people got miniature water fountains in their homes, with the sound of water as their asmr? Well toy trains are Bern's kinetic stimulation. I enjoy the presence of trains. I finished decorating the tree in a couple of days; it was very relaxing because I love taking my sweet time. I went with the usual: second-hand ornaments, gifted items, incandescent lights and collected pieces from the past years. I watched a bit of Kirsten & Joerg's holiday videos in the background-- they're very cozy and wholesome! They're such a handsome couple; charming personalities. I love their taste-- which is just classic deep red/ hunter green Christmas, with warm colors...similar to mid 90s holiday decors. They remind of some day time slice-of-life programs from local tv stations that partnered with PBS. Some people made comments that they lowered the blood pressure-- and they're correct!


My sister bought me some cute gifts!  I told her that she did not have to since I couldn't get her anything beyond the cupcakes and cookies that I've baked for her. She loves shopping for other people; no one can stop her. Literally no one. I'm going to save my stickers for scrap booking! She also got me practical things: mobile phone suction & slippers.

I also need to plan my birthday. I think I have an idea, but not exactly sure what I want to do during my birthday. If we do end up eating out-- it will be an outdoor sit-down place. Part of me wants to do a bit of window shopping at malls/ downtown areas, but I can't be in a place of crowds during the holidays in this timeline. I'm okay with  flea markets/ open air places. I guess I can always search up some local museum stops & light installations.  I'm lucky to live in area with a bunch of landmarks that doesn't involve indoor spaces. Since our refrigerator is unreliable for the third time , I'm just going to skip out on baking myself a cake. There's no point in using up buttercream, eggs, ganache for them to go to waste. Dealing with improper food storage would frustrate me , it would be unsafe to consume them. I may also have to avoid preparing dinners that requires overnight leftovers, just incase. If this continues this whole week, I would be okay with getting a local Chinese food takeout if any are open during Christmas day. Perhaps I'll end up having a 90s romcom movie* dinner for holidays.

*Okay, I know the link isn't really from a romcom movie nor is it from the 90s. But Sandra Oh looks like she could've starred in an iconic one.


Well despite our refrigeration malfunction, I was able to decorate and I had some time to work on my art! Here is my Drawcember art atm:



I made a Drawcember prompt list for myself just to simply get sucked into a festive mood. At least for me, it's pretty effective. Got my holiday movies in the background; hot cocoa around (but not close to my tablet). Yes, I'm a tad bit upset that I won't be able to cook my favorite foods but I'm also grateful things I'm able to do. Aside from essential needs....there's not a whole lot for me to ask for.

November 28th, 2024- The urge to go on a roadtrip with a lawnmower
Listening to Cozy Christmas Cafe With Animal Crossing

As I was preparing my dinner rolls dough, my mom called me earlier today wishing me a "Happy Thanksgiving". Then with concern, she asked me if my sister called me; apparently she caught a flu and haven't recovered. Not exactly sure how or where she caught the flu but hearing her getting sick made me anxious. I believe she caught some things in the past five years-- I hope it doesn't take a heavy toll on her body. I told my mom that I received a text from her related to pop culture news and such, so it seemed like she was doing fine.

Have any of you seen David Lynch's The Straight Story? Do you have sibling(s)? Not a spoiler: The lead character of this film, an elderly man by the name of Alvin Straight, gets a call from his niece that his younger brother fell. Hearing that information made the lead character panicked... his driving license is no longer good so he decides to take a road trip journey on a lawnmower to see his elderly-baby brother. He wants to go see him before it's too late. 

I felt that. The bond between the Straight brothers. My sister isn't old and neither am I, but we both got health needs in different areas -seeing how things have been these past years made me cautious about how our physical health can turn out.

"I think I may have to head back to ER tonight"  my sister texted. Even my mom was feeling a bit uneasy. My parents did offer to travel to her place for a wellness check, but according to my mom, she told them not to. So maybe it's not that serious? I don't think she is stubborn about asking for help if she needs it. I'll have to check back on her tonight or early morning to see if she's recovering.

I've been mostly in the kitchen all morning with 80s/90s M4cy*s Parade in the background, watching some of the clips ironically and praising certain performances. Bern basically vibed in the background as well. There were some interesting Broadway numbers/ creative floats but there were also some questionable/ outdated presentations as well. Watching the clips, we were able to gain fragments of insights on the culture and the attitudes of that time.  So please note that because of our awareness of the historical past, we're NOT one of those people who romanticizes everything from our childhood era. Some things are meant to be kept in a time capsule-- that's perfectly okay for us. We want to move forward.

Bern got some days off, which means he got time to rest, disassociate & work on his personal projects. I'm really hoping my sister pulls through. I told her to make sure she gets plenty of fluid. Luckily, she got friends nearby to help out!

Anyway to my American friends: I hope you all are having a nice day off with loved ones (or alone if that's preferable)! Please take care of yourself & stay healthy!
 

Here are my photo dump of food pics:
 

All prepared & made by me! I'm addicted to my mango-orange vinaigrette.

Journal update:
Seems like my sister is pulling through! She's just at the recovery stage of coughs and having a bit of a chest pain. No pneumonia atm. Probably will have a follow up the next week if she doesn't get better. I told her to have the humidifier around and eat soupy foods. I feel so bad for her because her housemate (landlord) isn't being reasonable to her and her room mate. Just seeing screenshots of texts & social media posts makes me want to scream for her-- I'm normally not the kind of person who yells. Fortunately, my sister is moving out; her plans got delayed because of the flu. My family and I are sensing she might not get her security deposit back, which I wonder if that could be illegal? Hmmmm we shall see.
 

November 27th, 2024- Closet Clean Up; Errands
Listening to Night Tempo

Over a decade ago, I made some shopping errors: one of them happened to a giant Betsy Johnson bag, made of pleather. I'm starting to find that some of my pleather clothes are starting to peel, with the outcome of tedious clean-ups.

I loved the bag-- got quite some use from it. The chains seems pretty sturdy and bag liner is good shape-with such a cute cherry printed fabric! I just loathe how the exterior turned out over time. I'll have to find a way to salvage the pieces that are still intact, it would require a heavy-duty seam ripper to take them apart. As years passed, I find that I need purchase my needs with care and strict examinations. Luckily, I still have some other purses/bags that are in decent quality within my small collection... my best ones are my second-hand bags gifted by my aunt & mom (80s fashion).


It started raining this week; just a week of errands. Now that I got them out of the way, I can finally rest. Oh never mind, I still got a bit of house tasks to work on. Also, I'll be hanging out in the kitchen prepping some things. I don't know if I'll be able to get back with my artwork and do a little bit of my game logs until the end of this week.

For my OOTD: I had a sweater duster, newsboy hat, white boots, deep green sweater, & gray skirt all with solid colors. I guess I'll call it Snoopycore Autumn? Yes, I know I'm a bit of a basic witch when it comes Snoopy, but I have a connection to the character for hometown reasons. These ensembles don't quite flatter my kibbe  silhouette and that's okay because: 1. it was an uneventful day 2. there's no need to disregard comfortable clothes when it still fits.


Took some photos during my errands. Bern and I hit rush hour as we head back home, we basically played, "Eye Spy Games" with Christmas lights and old food signs. We drove through several neighborhoods with some festive lights and took notes of some diner places that we passed.

November 19th, 2024- Episode 7 of Dan Da Dan- my reactions
Listening to Wait For Me- Maggie Cheung

I pretty much felt gloomy after watching the seventh episode of Dandadan series, it was a bit of a surprise to catch a serious tone from a comedic anime about ghosts and aliens. Bern was saying how the theming of Dandadan (not to confuse it with style) felt like a David Lynch's writing approach on tragic characters. When he mentioned that, I knew what he was talking about! The Acrobatic Silky's past reminded of Laura Palmer's and Diane Selwyn's backstory from Twin Peaks and Mulholland Drive. All three of those characters experienced intense trauma that were beyond their control, it's as if society has failed them all.

Bern also pointed out that the 'Aliens' from Dandadan felt like they represent toxic masculinity, they're about domination, control and strong desire to take over the human race. With all the 'ghosts' symbolizing femininity, they tend be filled with rage- years of pain building up over time. Every time a ghost gets 'tamed' in the series, the viewer in the end begins to understand and sympathize with the spirits. It seems as if all the spirits were once human, trying to survive life and got hit with brutal death/ or passed with no peacefulness in mind.

Both Bern and I love hearing Nerdy Daily's comments, we've been watching his I pretty much felt gloomy after watching the seventh episode of Dandadan series, it was a bit of a surprise to catch a serious tone from a comedic anime about ghosts and aliens. Bern was saying how the theming of Dandadan (not to confuse it with style) felt like a David Lynch's writing approach on tragic characters. When he mentioned that, I knew what he was talking about! The Acrobatic Silky's past reminded of Laura Palmer's and Diane Selwyn's backstory from Twin Peaks and Mulholland Drive. All three of those characters experienced intense trauma that were beyond their control, it's as if society has failed them all.

Bern also pointed out that the 'Aliens' from Dandadan felt like they represent toxic masculinity, they're about domination, control and strong desire to take over the human race. With all the 'ghosts' symbolizing femininity, they tend be filled with rage- years of pain building up over time. Every time a ghost gets 'tamed' in the series, the viewer in the end begins to sympathize with the spirits. It seems as if all the spirits were once human, trying to survive life and got hit with brutal death/ or passed with no peacefulness in mind.

Both Bern and I love hearing Nerdy Daily's comments, we've been watching his One Piece reactions. His articulation with this episode  was very beautiful,

"In not leering at her, not even showing the men, it is instead completely about her perspective. It centers her pain in the story and her anger and it so deeply allows us to emotionally connect with what she becomes, the spirit of vengeance.."

Similar to how Diane Selwyn from Mulholland Drive was a lindy hop dancer, we learned that the Acrobatic Silky ghost happened to be a former ballerina-- both were living in poverty with the harsh work life that involves moonlighting. Diane Selwyn's rage snapped from the feeling of rejection and humiliation, being crushed by Hollywood dreams. The Acrobatic Silky's case was about having her daughter being taken away from a group of yakuza, probably had a mountain of debt that she could not pay back on time.
 

As you can see from my updates, I made a new blog page layout revolving around the Nutcracker, pink tulle and frosted snowflakes. The ballerina gif is a coincidence with Acrobatic Silky character-- it is unrelated, I promise. I got my design inspiration from a number of memories: the Nutcracker ballet plays, mom's shabby chic bath set, a white gold locket gifted by mom, shopping at Claire's during the holidays, and Lipsm4ckers makeup collection filled with glitter. Just like my autumn layout, the profile picture drawing was done by Bern, from iphone doodle.

Not counting the tree, I managed put all our holiday decorations up! We have a small space, so it was a pleasant way of storing our Halloween decorations away. I find that boiling a pot of water with slice lemons, cinnamon sticks, nutmeg, ginger and cloves really brings out the cozy atmosphere. We even had a friend (Bern's colleague) over this past weekend, apparently he was in Scotland weeks ago during Halloween and showed us some scenic pictures.

Bern and him talked about their creative projects and caught up with their updates in their social circle.  Since we'll be inching towards a bunch of festivities, we did get into a conversation on nostalgia and our family customs. We all grew up with different traditions, customs and such; we talked about the food we loved as kids and *certain* family events that weren't pleasant. Our friend grew up in another Anglophone country from a different continent & season pattern, so his experiences were drastically different from our childhood. It was quite interesting to hear his family's customs.

Between Bern and I, while we're pretty much from the same hometown and had the collective 90s American public school experience, ours slightly differs because I was raised by a large household, predominantly Asian. Bern grew up with the Tommy Pickles' holidays, like in a cultural sense. Bern was explaining to his friend that we both ended up making new traditions for ourselves as a couple living together; our holidays became pretty magical once again ever since we started dating fifteen years ago. It became even more magical ever since we started moving in together. Having a place where a couple can set their own rules and lifestyle really makes quite a difference! Don't get me wrong, we love our parents..we're just adults who needs our own kitchen space whilst still being in one place. I'm lucky to have a partner who enjoys my decorations

Do you guys have any special plans for this upcoming month? Or any stressful plans to dodge? Whatever the outcomes, I hope it all goes well for you all!